Dream
by Rath Set-Seraph
Summary: Griffith thinks about his life and his dream... And how it controlled him. Please R&R.


Rath- Yes, yes, before everyone yells at me for not updating I would just like to say that we're posting this because-

Set- We know we shouldn't.

Rath- Close enough.

Set- Told you renting the DVD would be a bad idea. It's now resulted in a new fic., even though we should be updating.

Rath- … () Right…

Set- Figures. Enjoi.

Rath- Enjoy.

>>>

Griffith P.O.V

I can remember when it was first placed around my neck. It pulsated with some unspoken power. It screamed in a frantic rage though it was silent, the mouth shut tight. I hardly understood the true reason as to why everything was happening… Why I sat on the collection of bodies sobbing one moment and then turned to some desperate warrior that seemed to have just awoken from a nightmare with in my own heart.

I truly believe that that was the last thing that I may have truly _felt…_ Now in my nostalgic mood, I find that the comparison between my emotion now and then is somewhat bleak. Though my feelings are intense now, they seem to be such a fake portrayal… I am like a puppet… I act what the egg needs… My dream? Is that what I call it? Yes, I suppose there is no other way to really refer to it, is there?

I am in extremes now, but they are never as genuine as when I was a child. I seem to act now out of a desperate longing rather than a brave want. I have considered that I have changed over time, and that this happens to everyone… But in my observation of the other Hawks that roam from the nest to the sky, I find that my hope was wrong. Now the only hope I may keep is to one day find the flesh needed for my dream…

But it seems every time I think about what could have been, something seems to sweep through my soul, my mind, my heart, my body… It drives me to some sort of overwhelming insanity, where I temporarily lose my cool as I am redeemed by my dream… It reminds me to keep sight of what is important, and every time, somehow, it knows I will listen.

And I do.

I exist merely for the hope of engendering my dream into the world of reality.

And often times I must wonder, do I control this dream of mine, or does it control…me?

I can look into the eyes of the men who fight for me and feel no remorse nor pity for the lives they are about to lose, whether of their own will or not. In the beginning it was their own choice to follow behind me as I blazed the trail for my dream; it is to conquer all. _I _am to conquer all. I will conquer first, I will make the realm of men mine… excuse me, _ours…_ Then my dream will come through on a chariot of bones, a sword of sweet victory to usurp morality, hope and time. We will rule everything that was, is and will be.

I've been through my agenda little more that an infinity of times, every single detail I've already blown through. Any chance of anything or nothing happening has passed through my mind, and for each one I've got an action that will result in anything and everything but a simple thing called "failure." Failure to me, like death, is not an option. I refuse to fail, I cannot fail… I will remain in an immortal state of mind and body… Even when my dream is accomplished I will never sleep in my coffin. My coffin… I admit, I have one… It's called a venomous name, one that poisons the tongue…

Love, for something other than a dream…

I admit that I will befriend someone who obeys only their dream, and is willing to do all to achieve such an idea… But love one another person? To have your dream be solely another person..? Surely, no one in this world is so selfless. That is why Caska often seems too unreal for me… She is like a shadow that will disappear with the setting of the sun… She confuses me… Gutts, though I do not know his dream, he fights with a different valor than that of Caska. He has something to prove to not only the rest of the world, but to himself. And that is why I take such a liking to him.

That is also why I had to claim him the day we fought… He would have left the Hawks then and there, in search of the salvation for his dream, rather than following me and mine.

I like having control over aspects in life… Whether they be people, things, fate… Small tokens like that make me want to go on, with out the will of the pendant I wear around my throat… But with that I know there are few things that I cannot control. Like this responsibility I feel for Gutts.

I do not know why I put my life on the line for him. And he especially could not have knowledge that I did not know. And still don't know. But it's not even a sort of responsibility, it was too easy a choice to take, not one that I grudgingly carried out.

No, this one seemed to close to "genuine" for comfort.

I was almost content when he fell off that cliff. I had thought that finally I would have no distractions to take me away from my dream… But no… He came back, and I found myself happier with his coming back than his leaving. And I could not admit to myself that I was relieved Caska was back as well.

If anything, those two are just as harmful to my dream as good.

I walked up proudly on the social step ladder, only going higher and higher… Gutts and Caska were the reason for this. They elevated the Hawks to a level beyond grandeur. But as I found myself taking steps closer to my dream, my will for it went in the opposite direction. Yet I continued to ascend.

Until, one fatal day, I plummeted to a death-like state, both in mind and body. How long I spent there seemed like an eternity of penance for losing faith in my dream. But a year later, I was released… Only to find that my dream was closer than I had known…

I made my get away from the two who cursed me, and once again was raised high above Earth, on top of bodies and faces as I was when I was a child…

Then the moment I died, my dream was born.

>>>

Rath- There we are…

Set- We made Griffith sound a bit…insane…

Rath- True…

Set- And it was a bit confusing…

Rath- True…

Set- You had no idea what you were typing, were you?

Rath- True- Oh well, please review. Ja ne.

Set- Later.


End file.
